Dolly

Once upon a time, there was a cottage surrounded by a tall gray wall that just barely enabled one to see the wilderness beyond. Within the walls, there was a lush and beautiful garden with flowers that never grew, never died. They were as they had always been. There was a big, white, bottomless pond to one side with sparkling turquoise water. A red swing hung from an oak tree. Sitting on the swing was Dolly the ballerina marionette. She started swinging to see if she could see past the wall, see the forest beyond. She briefly caught a glimpse only to be pulled back down.

She got off the swing and went back into the cottage where she lived with Reggie the rag doll and the angry baby Vinny. She would hardly call them friends but this is where and with whom she found herself.

She went into the room with the big red toy box. It had a cozy tiny velvet bed inside, her favorite cozy blanket, and her music box right next to her when she slept. She would lie in her bed, turn the key of the music box, and look at the big window in the room that showed the night sky.

She went and laid down in her toy box. She couldn’t explain it but she got the feeling something wasn’t right. She couldn’t stop smiling even when she didn’t want to smile. And she felt all this pressure in her chest and darkness and despair in her head. Her body felt like a cage. She liked dancing on her own sometimes but not when others tried to make her dance their way by pulling on her strings. She wished she could get rid of the strings but didn’t know how. Vinny would try to make her dance but she would be deliberately bad at it. He quickly became bored and would pass on to find something or someone else to occupy his limited attention span. She was glad to have these moments of peace especially at night when all was quiet. She turned the key off the music box twice and let the gentle lullaby cradle her to sleep.

The next morning was not as peaceful. She was woken up by sounds of throwing and crying. Vinny was up and angry. She heard Reggie running after him trying to soothe, coax, appease him.

Dolly lay there wishing she were somewhere else waking up to more pleasant, kind, beautiful sounds.

Finally fed up and disgusted by the discordant sounds, she got up out of the toy box and went out into the hallway. She saw Vinny, his fat, obnoxious face, and Reggie, anxious and appeasing and pathetic, trying to serve and calm him down much to her disgust. The more she tried to appease him the more emboldened he became. He took Reggie and threw her across the room.

She landed with a thud. She got up and shook it off.

Dolly felt coldness and horror tingling inside her torso. “No!” she yelled as forcefully as she could.

Vinny looked at her with disbelief, scowled, and then wailed louder than before.

Reggie went to him again. “Don’t make it worse! He’s just a poor baby,” she said.

Dolly was dumbfounded and felt the tingling and bubbling in her chest again. She rushed out into the garden near the swing. She got that feeling of being caged and trying to break out of her own skin again. She slumped down at the foot of the tree and took refuge in its shade and quiet. She closed her eyes struggling to keep it all in.

“Why so sssssad and lonely, my pet?”

Dolly opened her eyes and saw a snake smiling back at her.

“Who are you?” she said

“Janusssss,” said the snake.

“Come hither, my pet. Those are some nice strings you have got. There is no need to be sad when you’re such a pretty little doll. You look like you could use a friend and a hug,” the snake said with an ominous glint in his eye.

“You want to be my friend?” Dolly asked innocently.

“Of course, my pet. You are so… interesting."

She got up and stepped closer to the snake.

There was a part of her that hesitated that stopped her.

“Why did you stop, my pet? There is no reason to be afraid of me. All I want is to hug you and make it all better. I have been so lonely and without any friends for so long. No one has ever loved me. Everyone including my own mother abandoned me when I was an egg,” said the snake with a sigh.

Dolly felt compassion and kinship with the snake and his loneliness and felt guilty for doubting him. She went to him and embraced him.

He embraced her back, slithered out of her embrace, and started to coil around her more and more tightly.

“Thank you for loving me and being my friend, my pet,” said the snake with glee.

He coiled more and more tightly until she couldn’t breathe. She struggled and squirmed in his fatal embrace but he kept saying how much he loved her.

Was this love?

Then suddenly he bit her in the heart. His fangs sank into her and cracked her chest. She cried out and winced in excruciating pain.

“Ahhh,” she screamed. Janus released her from his grip, letting her drop to her knees her hand on her heart.

“Why did you do that? You said you loved me. You don’t hurt the ones you love. I trusted you. I helped you. How could you?” she seethed at him.

She raised her head and looked at him. He looked down at her with a smirk. A volcano erupted from within her. A thick hot lava of rage, hatred, betrayal, disgust, repulsion. It broke her open. Around her parts of her chipped off. She squirmed and hatched out of the rigid shell. She felt and saw everything clearly for the first time. She felt the pain of the hooks and the strings. She looked down where she had been bitten and saw a hook and string there. She lifted a trembling hand to it, took a deep breath, and ripped it out, howling in pain. She saw a shard of the rigid shell she had been trapped in. She took the shard along with hook and string and got up.

Janus was slithering his way to the wall when he felt a hook dig into him and he was yanked down to the ground. She took the shard and hacked him in two. Then in three and four and five. She sat down. The shard fell from her hand.

She looked up at the sun and felt its light and heat on her face. She lifted her hand to touch her shoulder and felt a sore spot there. She saw the pond with glistening water, gathered what strength she had, and stumbled over to it. She looked in and saw herself, bruised and bloodied with wounds and scars she hadn’t known she had, but still. Her self. She smiled at herself. Tears of sorrow and joy dropped into the pond rippling out.

She turned slightly to look at her back and saw reflected two gashes by her scapulas. She sat on the edge of the pond, lifted her legs over the edge into the water, and dove into the glistening water.

She rose from the water cleansed and purified. She looked down and saw her wounds replaced by gold scars, touched her shoulders, looked behind her to see wings in place of gashes.

She felt a rush of excitement and tried her wings. She was flying!

She felt a tug at her ankle that tried to yank her down.

She turned and looked down to see Reggie pulling her down and Vinny glaring not far behind.

“No! You can’t leave me!” cried Reggie desperately.

“Come with me, Reggie!” Dolly said offering her hand.

“No, we can’t leave!” said Reggie still pulling her down.

“And I can’t stay!” Dolly cried back.

Dolly took a deep breath, yanked her ankle loose, turned, and flew away.

She flew up high, invigorated with newfound strength and resolve, above and past the wall, and rushed the horizon. Free at last.