The Timekeeper

It was evening when James woke up from the heavy sleep and fatigue that never seemed to leave him anymore. He lay there in the dark, seeing just enough of the familiar objects of his home. He found the darkness comforting. It didn’t assault his senses. He was just another dark mass like his objects, albeit a sentient one (barely).

As he slowly woke up, all the thoughts, feelings, memories began to gush in. It had been two years since Henry’s death. The days and nights at the hospital, seeing the life drain out of him slowly like sand from an hourglass, trying to offer his son courage and hope he didn’t have, his son pretending he believed his father, the fights with Hailey about doctors, second, third, fourth opinions, new treatments when they were out of the hospital room, and then the complete silence between them once he was gone. Henry had been the last thread between Hailey and him. Once that was cut, she became a stranger who resembled a person he had once known.

He was going back to work tomorrow. He needed to experience the world again, its movements and motions, the ridiculous yet comforting mundaneness of it all, having somewhere to go, something to do. He needed to be something other than a broken record playing and replaying memories of the son he could not save.  Grief has a way of stopping time. It makes everything else pale in comparison and brings into relief the pain of the present. It seems absurd to do or say anything else. The renowned neuroscientist and biochemist who would bring us into the future undone by the past. Ironic. Well, tomorrow it was back to being the renowned neuroscientist and biochemist at Kronos. Though he had doubts his renown would still be there waiting for him.

He turned on the light and turned his attention back to the manila folders he had been reading when he fell asleep. His secretary had sent them over to update him on the projects he had been overseeing before he took some time off. The one on top had the words ‘PROJECT MOIRAE’ written in red letters. That created a small surge of interest and excitement in him that managed to push through the almost constant stupor he had been living in. 

Project Moirae had been his brainchild before Henry’s death and now he was eager to go back and throw himself back into it. Scientific inquiry was James’ happy place. He had always been able to shut out the world and the painful parts of himself when working on a scientific problem. The pressure that built up while he was avoiding those problems helped create a crucible for his brain. He had decided to name the project after the Fates because, if it was successful, it would radically alter our relationship with time and memory. He had been researching the chemical basis of thoughts and feelings and memory in his lab at UC Berkeley. An article he had published got the attention of Kronos, one of Silicon Valley’s up and coming AI companies that was, let’s say, branching out. They courted him and placed their vast wealth and resources at his disposal. He let himself be seduced. His research did flourish with those resources but, even then, the profiteering, ominous and unhealthy devotion to innovation with very little consideration and very few scruples about the side effects and consequences, and stupid slogans like ‘The Future Is Now’ had unsettled him. He had placated his nagging conscience by saying it was just a means to an end. That usually shut Jiminy Cricket up. The thought of Jiminy Cricket made him laugh. The image of Henry dressed up as Pinocchio flashed in his mind.

Project Moirae had two parts. Part I dealt with figuring out the biochemical basis for memory and how memories are activated and retrieved. Every thought, every feeling we have has a biochemical and electrical fingerprint of sorts that when activated in the right way can trigger those memories. Knowing that, we can control, manipulate, even erase memory. Part II dealt with using the telomeres of cells to predict when an organism will die. The culmination of the project had been the creation of a device known as the timekeeper that is implanted into the brain. Once surgically placed in the most apt location, a person’s brain activity could be measured and ‘nudged’ so to speak. Most of the testing up to this point had been done on rats and pigs. However, during the call with his secretary yesterday, he had been told that the lab had made great progress and had decided to move forward with its first human subject and already had a candidate. This had prompted both fear and curiosity in James and had been the reason he cut short his leave. No one knew this project and the science in it better than him. But Kronos was a shark tank. He had to get back and review this ‘great progress’ and meet this human test subject.

II

James parked his car and made his way to the entrance of Kronos. The building was an odd yet intriguing mix of Gothic and post-modern architecture.  The front of the building had a faint grayish clock face on it. From afar, it looked like the clock face opened its mouth and ate those who sought entrance into it. Father Time eating his children.

Once inside, Evelyn greeted him and presented her condolences. She took his belongings and took him to the classroom/conference room adjoining the lab where the meeting had already started. At the front of the room talking out of his ass was Silas. Of course, James thought, that explains it.

  “I am well aware that many of you have doubts and concerns about the speed with which we are moving with regard to Project Moirae and the use of the timekeeper on a human test subject. But both the science and the experimental and clinical trials on animal subjects have given us cause for hope and confidence in this decision. As you all know we are not the only lab working on the problem of memory. The demonstration will proceed as scheduled tomorrow.  Both the scientific community and the public eagerly await the presentation of these results and to delay further would be to second guess ourselves and jeopardize the time and resources we have put into this project only to have the credit and victory stolen from us. If we don’t move forward now, someone else will. The identity of the human test subject will be revealed to everyone at the demonstration and she will have the device…Ah, Dr. King!”

Everyone turned to look at their former leader now a bereaved father. James gave a faint, awkward smile in response to the…pity. 

“It’s so good to have you back and to have your guidance and support in the next stage of this, your, great endeavor. Surely a good omen,” Silas said, flashing that smile that always gave James the creeps.

“Please continue. You were talking about the test subject,” James said sternly looking back at the profiteering snake that had slithered his way up the ladder. 

“Yes, well she will have the device implanted today. We will do some preliminary tests and…”

“How was she chosen?” James interrupted.

“We had done a press event about Project Moirae and the amazing capabilities of the timekeeper and had asked the public if any of them would like to be the first human test subject and make scientific history. We received thousands of offers and letters and profiles telling us why they wanted to do this and what they hoped to accomplish by doing it. We screened them medically, psychologically, and chose someone we think will be the best face for this project.” 

“And have you informed her of the risks and potential consequences of doing something like this?”

“Why don’t we adjourn the meeting and you and I can speak in private?” 

Everyone took that as their queue to leave and were more than happy to do so. 

Silas and James were alone. 

“Well, welcome back. How are you handling things?”

James waited. “Have you informed her of the risks or do you even know them yourself or were you too busy imagining the press and the ratings and money your little demonstration will rake in?”

“That is not fair.”

“Isn’t it? Because as I recall, I and my colleagues, you know the actual scientists who know what they’re doing, had not planned on moving to testing the device on humans for another three years. Tell me. How did you convince this poor girl to try out a device that hasn’t had nearly enough time to show results in the animal subjects?” James said glaring.

“I didn’t have to convince her of anything. She came to us. You can meet her if you like. I was going there now actually. Care to join me?” Silas smiled back.

James didn’t respond and followed him.

III

“Sarah! How are you feeling, darling?” Silas stepped into the second clinic room on the third floor. 

“Hi, Silas,” a young woman with brown hair, a sweet, anxious smile, and sad eyes replied. 

“Sarah, I’d like to introduce you to Dr. James King. He is the one who started everything that has led to the technology we have today and that is going to let us help you.”

She looked at James quietly and smiled.

“Do you need to go over the procedure again, Sarah? Anything you need to feel more comfortable and to know you’re in safe hands” Silas asked gently taking her hand.

James rolled his eyes.

“No. I think I understand the procedure well enough. But…you’re sure you can get rid of that particular memory?”

“Yes, we will certainly try. You’ve been through so much but you’re a strong woman who is going to be the first person ever to have the timekeeper implanted. Why don’t we let you rest before your procedure?” Silas said.

Silas walked to the door. James didn’t move, turned toward him, saying “Actually, I think I’d like to stay and get to know Sarah and her situation a little more. That won’t be a problem, will it?”

Silas smiled and said, “Not at all.”

“May I ask how and why you’re doing this?”

Sarah hesitated. “I had something really bad happen to me. And I just want the horrible memories and nightmares to stop. I have tried everything else. I can’t live with it. I keep replaying it over and over again and I just…I just need it to stop. I need the memories of that vile monster go away. And the timekeeper can do that.”

“Sarah, memory erasure is extremely difficult and complicated and the timekeeper has not been used for that purpose on a human. I understand you’re in pain, and I am deeply sorry for what happened to you. But putting your life at risk like this…”

“I don’t have a life! That horrible monster ruined my life. I trusted him and he… I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t do or think of anything else. I can’t bear to be looked at or touched or breathe or have even a moment of peace. What’s the point of a life like that? It was either this or end my life,” she said amidst tears. 

James came close to her and touched her arm. “You’re making a decision from your emotions, one that will affect your whole life.”

She wiped her tears, pulled away. “I appreciate your concern, but I have made up my mind.”

James gave her his card, told her to call if she experienced any issues or had any questions and left her.

James took a deep breath and went into his lab. He pour over the lab results and clinical trials and tried to see the validity of the information that had been released to the public. He didn’t know why he was trying to so hard to disprove the value and validity of his own creation but he knew something was wrong. If Silas was involved, something was wrong.

Something in the data caught his eye. Every memory has a biochemical and electrical fingerprint. In both the animal test subjects and the tests they did on Sarah, they triggered the memory and used electroencephalography and fMRI to measure the brain waves and the electrical pathway the memory took. That information was fed into the timekeeper device that they would implant into Sarah’s brain. Once the timekeeper detected that electrical pathway, it would sever certain key neural pathways of that particular memory, thereby rendering it irretrievable. So the memory would still be there but lost to the person. This had been successfully replicated in pigs and rats that had been taught a pathway in a maze but then had the memory removed. But the memory of a pig is less complex than that of a traumatized human woman. In any case, the levels of hormones and the electrical pathway that they had helped map didn’t seem right. 

James was frustrated. He left the lab and went to Silas’ office. Everyone had left by this point. He had taken the key from the janitor and got into Silas’ office. He didn’t know what he was looking for. Something, anything. Science was usually the thing he trusted most. But in this instance, he couldn’t rely on it and he knew he was behaving like a crazy person. He started opening files, drawers. He got into his computer, which thankfully Evelyn had given him the password for when he explained his reservations about tomorrow. He found e-mails talking about a collaboration with the Germans on the timekeeper device and the demonstration tomorrow. There was a file number listed. Jake went into the file drawer and got out the file. 

He found lab results that looked similar to the ones that had been presented publicly. However, the success rates of the experiments including those done on Sarah were far lower than predicted. Then it hit him why the hormone levels weren’t matching up. Sarah was a rat! 

Suddenly something hard hit the back of his head and he passed out.

When he came to, Evelyn was standing over him. 

“What happened?” 

“Dr. King, are you okay?”

“Silas! Where’s Silas? And Sarah? 

“Dr. King, Silas is gone.”